Oh. My. Goddess? (Part II)


Back in June I wrote a jolly long post about the phenomenon of saying “Oh my Goddess” rather than “Oh my God” and what I thought about all of that (I don’t like it. Surprise!). That post was touted as a “Part 1” of a two-part blog, the second half of which was going to be a how-to…you know, like, how to truly feel like a goddess.

To quote myself:

“How do we really feel it in our being, from head to toe to yoni? How do I empower myself as a woman (and not in the sensible-footwear, puppy-stomping, man-hating kind of way)? How do I become a representation of the Divine Feminine here on Earth?

Will it help if I let my pubic hair grow wild and free?”

Not surprisingly, these aren’t easy questions to answer. Everyone is different and despite what the media or the self-help section of Barnes and Noble, or better yet, the New Age section of Barnes and Noble, my tell you- there isn’t a series of steps or a particular foolproof method with which to actualize your goddess-hood. You kind of have to figure it out on your own.

The end.

Nah, just kidding.

But I did say that I would address those things and at the very least I want to give my opinion/personal experience:

Part two is where I tell you some of my secrets on how I do it

See? I don’t think that sentence is grammatically acceptable and it kind of pained me to copy and paste it. *grimace* ANYWAY, staying true to my word, here are five things that have helped me on my journey of feminine empowerment and divine embodiment:


Ha. I’m so funny. But in all honesty, trying to/working hard to embody “the goddess” is a sure fire way to stall your process. The Goddess doesn’t try to do shit that other people are doing. I feel there is a bit of a stereotype or a generic “goddess” model that the popular spiritual mainstream offers women. An image of a curvaceous and serene, makeup-less, flowing-haired woman (add a touch of silver in that hair for good measure) with a gentle smile on her face, in some sort of angelic gown and bare feet. Whatever context in which she is presented we are able to discern that she’s at peace with herself, confident maybe? Sensual perhaps… definitely nurturing and calm. Maybe she has some kind of headband on, circa 1970 that indicates her alternative clothing choices. Alternately, and less frequently, you get the image of the Kali-type goddess. She looks wild, her sexuality is rampant…she will eat your face and your man’s face…then have wild war-sex with his near-corpse. Probably wears a lot of scandalous red colors or is nude. Yep. I like to rock that look sometimes, but what does that really tell us? You can’t really show up to your PTA meeting like that. Not, really.

Yes, these goddess stereotypes are awesome and even great aspirations if you can put your own meaning and desires behind the visuals. And I am also all for relating and communicating with known goddesses and goddess archetypes- I would be lying if I said I have never felt the literal presence of Oshun or Inanna in my life. I enjoy calling in the spirits, deities, and archetypes that I resonate with or who come to me (or I to them) during different periods in my life. It’s a blessing. But as far as striving to achieve their essence, the quintessential, letter-for-letter goddess vibe, I say, forget it. Create your own. Use their guidance to uncover your own unique and distinct divinity. Ask the Goddess to reveal your magic to you. Ask your higher self- the genderless, omniscient you: what are you the goddess of? What are your divine attributes? If you were an altar statue, what would you be holding in your hand? A lotus? A spear? Or a pair of Sennheiser headphones and a Cuisinart? Do you make really good pie and love feeding it to people? Are you physically fit and love to run? Do you have huge boobs that are abundant and beautiful? Maybe you’re an adroit problem solver. Do you make people laugh? Are you wildly practical? Knowing this and honoring it will make you feel confident, truly able to reign over your domain. Own it! It will make this whole goddess thing suddenly more accessible. Build an altar to this goddess you. I’m deadly serious. Don’t try to be all holy and ethereal about it, be REAL. Reality is magical too. What are your superpowers? I don’t know about you but I’m not interested in mimicking, I’m here to trail blaze. This kind of ties in which my number two method of empowerment…


2. Give nary a fuck.

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Oh. My. Goddess?


This phenomenon of “Oh, my goddess!” in place of “Oh, my god!”… fascinating, if you really give it some thought. Surely, either option will do since, to me, All That Is could hardly be said to have human genitalia…or any tangible genitalia whatsoever. I hope. Also, all the options are undeniably delightful and illustrative of one’s incumbent spiritual beliefs. I offer you “goddessdamnit!” or “for goddess’ sake”, perhaps? Cute! I mean, who even cares what gender one cusses or exclaims in, amiright? I’ll tell you who.

This guy.

Oh, I’m not suggesting that there is a right or a wrong way of cussing. Morality isn’t my interest in this (or much else). What is of interest to me is…what it means. Why bother to interject such obvious changes into seemingly pointless turns of phrase? Well, I believe, this particular calculated change of a common expression is a less mainstream way (among many, many other ways) with which The People are desperately trying to call Divine Feminine energy back into an overly “male” societal structure. They think to themselves, “God. Pffft! Too masculine, too overbearing…too ‘not me’.  I’m going to make public my desire for a more female-centric global model by going out of my way to alter an overused cultural idiom (which already flagrantly dumbs down the divine) into the feminine version. Then I’m going to take her name in vain instead!”

That conversation probably takes place in the abstract, though… and is likely a lot less assholey than I made it sound. Yeah, I said “in vain” because that’s what it is: casual and a bit flippant.

(You might also be saying it because you’re a submissive and you’re mistress demands that you call her “goddess”. In that case, since she and possibly several of her individual body parts are being worshipped, when you say “Oh, my goddess”, you’re being…literal…and you should ignore the rest of this article. That’s an order.)

I don’t take umbrage when my friends say such things or similar because for many; it’s truly heartfelt and authentic. For just as many, though, is it an affectation. I mean, I say “Oh my god” a lot, much to my own chagrin, so this isn’t a judgment. It just makes me (and maybe you) think. You see, these days, the word “goddess” is everywhere, big and little “G”. Women and men now call other women “goddess” in place of a myriad of other words they may have used before. How many books are written on how to be one? Googolplex. We talk about communing with or becoming our “inner” goddess or the goddess. Who is that? There’s a what in me? WTF?! Who is this “goddess” and why is everyone getting compared to and in touch with her? Here a goddess, there a goddess, everywhere a goddess, goddess. Sounds like a bunch of hippie horseshit! Ok, no it doesn’t, but I know that there are a lot of men and women out there, even ones that talk about goddesses incessantly, who secretly wonder what on god(dess)’s green earth it all means. Is EVERY woman a goddess?? I mean- what the hell is the qualifier for goddess-hood? Not sure I could describe it to you, but I know it when I see it.

There are two things happening here, one of them is happening to some women, on a personal level. The other is happening to everyone, on a collective level, in the consciousness of humanity. These things have to do with each other, of course, but they aren’t necessarily the same. The former is a gender experience, which becomes a part of the latter; the latter…has nothing to do with gender at all.

*On a side note, I admit that I could be using the word “gender” incorrectly. I know that this word has taken on new life and new meaning over the years and I can honestly say I am unsure how hip to the current definitions I am. Despite that I’m surrounded by the queerest of queer and I, myself, am the most comfortable in this “category” (though I hardly fit into one)- I still never know the politically correct usages of these words. It seems sort of strange that I have to specify when, for me, anything goes. When I say “women” I mean those with an anatomical vagina and those without- but here, I like to be clearer for my readers. I use these limiting words to the best of my knowledge and with the best intentions. If anyone has issue with the way I’m wielding “gender”, please feel free to let me know.


When we talk about the Great Shift and the return of harmony between male and female energies, when we discuss moving away from an exhausted, male-oriented paradigm and into a more feminine one- we aren’t talking about gender. We’re talking about energies, male and female not man and woman. Masculine energy is linear, focused, determined and organized, point A to point B. Female energy is creative, “big-picture”, compassionate. The hemispheres of our brain govern one of these energies each, with just one little bridge connecting them, and our brain needs both hemispheres to function at its best, mechanically. Just like our brains, the earth and its inhabitants need both energies, equally, to function at their best. We all have these energies within our Spirits, as well. While our physical bodies, when separated from spirit, may resonate with one energy more than the other (creating sex, gender, and it’s wide array of interpretations) our immortal spirits have both, in perfect balance. One kind of energy is not better than another. *Gets hit in the face by extreme feminists*

Currently, the world has too much of a male jam going on, but either of these energies, without balance, can go wild and wrong. Male energy is Awesome and worthy of respect; it just needs to be balanced out lest it turns violent, aggressive, controlling, and lacking in creativity and compassion. Sound like a place you know? (I’m talking about Earth.) Since this topic could be considered in an infinite number of ways and talked about until several people were blue in the face, and since I don’t feel like getting into a deeply philosophical and somewhat fringe discussion about the Shift of Ages today, I’m just going to talk about the former (the gender experience). I am going to skip a lot of explanation and discussion, because…well, because I wanna. We’ll sidestep the history, the politics, and the rest of the 2012 stuff and go right to the How (so masculine of me). How do those women (and some men) who desire to embody the goddess… make it happen? Yes, I say “and some men”. There are shit loads of men who want to get in touch with their feminine side. Absolutely. I want to hug all those men. Ok, ok, I might talk a bit about why we are so driven to want to embody her (or Her), as well.

How do we really feel it in our being, from head to toe to yoni? How do I empower myself as a woman (and not in the sensible-footwear, puppy-stomping, man-hating kind of way)? How do I become a representation of the Divine Feminine here on Earth?

Will it help if I let my pubic hair grow wild and free?

(Part two is where I tell you some of my secrets on how I do it. Part II. Meaning, I’m not going to do it right now. I see you shiver with antici……………………..