Back from the s…


Back from the scalding desert of Black Rock City, Ché throws down six of the Twelve Tenets of Bewitching A Man. This podcast includes the important laws of seduction: The Eyes Have It, The Humor/Hard Dick Equation, To Bone or Not to Bone, Walking Into A Room, Slow Surprises, and Dulcet Tones. Holed up in Reno with her friends (the founders of the incredible– a must see site), resting and recovering from a week of celebration at the Burning Man festival, Ché volunteers “Seduction for Dummies” giving you the first half of your ever-growing toolbox. These six bullets will help add fuel to your growing seductive fire- tune in now to get started and tune in next week for the rest of these juicy, inside tips!

Have You Admired a Man Today?


Part of being fully realized in your feminine power is abandoning (or avoiding) the limiting belief that “all men are the same”. Men are no more alike than women are alike- and we know that each woman is as unique and beautiful as variant flower species, centuries of poems have been written about the subtle differences of the Earth’s ladies.

A man is a distinctive and remarkable individual, a miraculous extension of god/goddess. Worthy, majestic, extraordinary.  Just as the feminine is powerfully divine, so is the masculine. Man’s skill set is divinely inspired, their bodies are beautiful and capable like ours (but wondrously different), and their physical hearts are an average of 25% bigger than that of a female. While you could credit that to simple biological necessity (if you’re into that sort of thing), I believe it is a testament to the vigor and beauty that is the divine masculine and his capacity to love. Have you explored this capacity? Have you opened your eyes to the wondrous male body sans discrimination or expectation? Even void of sexuality, have you admired a Man today?

To flippantly imply that men are “all the same” is an assessment that dulls and damages your feminine receptivity and your spirituality as a whole ( See, it usually also to implies that they all behave badly. You rarely hear something like, “Men. They’re all the damn same. All a bunch of fantastic, hard-working, super-focused, strong beings!”, and even if you did, it still wouldn’t be correct.)  Spirit is Love, and Love can’t operate through walls and judgements so thick. The universe seeks balance, not feminine energetic dominance. BALANCE.

David Dieda writes in one of his books about the super-power of concentration that men possess and how women, often, assume they are being ignored when it is activated. This is not always the case. It’s more often NOT the case than it IS the case in loving relationships (friendship or otherwise) or healthy interactions. When a man is focused on something, be it sport, his craft, his business, or his art and you interrupt with a question or a smooch, if he doesn’t answer or look at you- frequently it’s because he didn’t hear or register you at all. He can’t hear you, in fact. His superpower is in fully engaged, his laserbeam focus, and all of his attention is on what’s before him. He’s in another world. He doesn’t do 8 things at once. He does one, balls to the wall. While this superpower can, of course, become corrupted and abused, lets assume we’re talking about a dude with a good heart in this instance. Not a perfect, infallible dude- just a dude with a good heart. This is a great exercise for noting the divinity in each individual male and in general warmth and presence:

Rather than becoming annoyed with his man-blinders (which can be easy to do sometimes, I understand) first-try… admiring it. Try watching him with pleasure, taking in the moment. This is one of my favorite things to do in a happy environment- watching (or listening to) a man work. It is brilliant, one of the most glorious things to see in physical reality. I recommend doing it whenever possible, for no reason at all. Doubly so if you happen to be in love with said man- though, if you are, you probably already stare at your man with deep awe and regard.

In a situation where you’ve asked him something and he hasn’t acknowledged you, maybe you need help getting into appreciation mode. Stop, breathe, and remind yourself that the question will be answered. The man will speak again, just not immediately, and that’s ok. It’s not the end of the world, you can spare a minute or two, moreover, slowing down for a minute is actually good for you, regardless of the reason.  Now contemplate the man in front of you. The one lost in his work/play.

Remove yourself from any emotional clouds that might be passing this instance. Observe from the “outside” of your busy mind. Enjoy the determination in his eyes or undivided attention he has to detail, the way he looks at the thing in front of him. Study the sloping or curving lines of his adept hands and knuckles, the dancing of his eyelashes in front of an unwavering gaze, the musical shapes of his face, the certainty with which he moves, or the steadfastness and hummingbird-like stillness of his body. Notice a freckle, or the soft hairs on an arm or chest- the beautiful details of a human body. Feel the energy of purpose surrounding him, his masculine vibe filling the air in the room like a cozy blanket wrapping you up. Smile at his excellence. If he is doing something like watching football- that works too. Seriously. If you’re not a sports fan, the skill and game itself can be appreciated. Men have been playing sport for 1,000’s of years- that competitive, athletic streak is a part of masculine charm. Recognize his repose, how he rests and watches. Look at this activity in a new way.

Appreciate this beautiful moment, and how he is present in it, no matter what project he’s taken up. Any kind man is able to be witnessed like this, no matter who he is. And, if the particular man is your lover, imagine the possible delight in having that focus be entirely on you and your body later in the afternoon or evening.

When you finally break his attention so you can retrieve the information you need or so you can talk to him- get close first (not uncomfortably close) and gently, non-intrusively touch his shoulder or back. Say his name with love or kindness, wait until you have eye-contact, and then engage. If the man is a colleague and touching isn’t appropriate for you, smiles are a good substitute.

This truly isn’t just for men, either. It’s a lovely way to be with any person you’re interacting with.

Who We Are…


When does “patience” and “nowness” become fear of right action? When does waiting for a sign become a one-way dialogue with yourself, rather than a two-way chat with the universe? Are we staying where we are truly out of letting-go and letting-god, or because we are afraid of the consequences of moving forward and following our hearts? Change can be uncomfortable, to say the least. Painful, too. Are we telling ourselves that we’re doing what we do for the happiness of another, while avoiding stepping into our own true bliss? It does seem that the line between fear and love can be very thin. What things are we holding onto that keep us from rising up and blossoming? What if all the obstacles were gone? “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” Carl Jung.